sad day

My beloved died today.
I heard horrible news this morning and then -somehow, the day went on and hours ticked by and just after noon Doug and Mike approached me figuring that I already knew... I didn't. I am trying so hard to remember all of the memories I have of him. How we fought what we felt for so long, how we could talk for hours, what it was like to just be around him, how nothing else really mattered, how much he taught me about life, love, food, wine, myself. I just can't imagine this world without him - his smile, his embrace, his voice, his perspective, his love, his funny little crazy things, his passion, his intelligence...just everything about him. I have two messages saved on voicemail from him - I am thankful for that. I am so glad that God put him in my life.
I am at the airport flying home. I need to be with my family (and they are anxious for me to be home) and I need to see his family and be around them.
I don't know how to say goodbye to you my dear and so I will say thank you and you will always be in my heart.